Giving Thanks Every Day

The other day Americans celebrated Thanksgiving.  It is a great holiday devoted to family and gratitude and—more and more—football and the start of the race to the stores to buy way too much for Christmas.  Still, it is nice to take the time to voice our gratitude and appreciation for all we have.

Gratitude is the key, one that can help make life better in so many ways.  If one appreciates life and all its messy details—and better yet—voices that appreciation, then it is hard to remain sad or grumpy or resentful of others.  And, as Jospeh B. Wirthlin explains, noticing all the little things that make life worth living, often, means we will not ever truly take them for granted, an accident of life that is too easy to happen in the hecticness of day-to-day living:

“The more often we see the things around us—even the beautiful and wonderful things—the more they become invisible to us.  That is why we often take for granted the beauty of this world: the flowers, the trees, the birds, the clouds—even those we love.  Because we see things so often, we see them less and less.”

I enjoyed the holiday and all the memories it awakens. Mom and Dad are always with me in spirit on that day.  I make a pork roast (my tradition) in part because it was a favorite of Mom and Dad too.  I also take some time to reflect on my life and what all I appreciate these days.  It is another habit of mine, associated with the holiday.

Here are a few of things I am appreciative of today:

I appreciate family and friends.  The holidays are a good reminder to tell those special people how you feel.  It is not wise to make them read your mind. My sister Barbara routinely shares Mary Engelbreit’s delightful art with me.  How great is that?

I am retired, a fact that still surprises me most days.  But I am grateful that I have funds enough to live a good life.  I can buy pretty much what I want and keep myself well stocked with books and movies to enjoy as I relax.  The most recent book by Barbara Kingsolver is at the top of my list:  Unsheltered.

I am basically healthy, although I am not able to walk as I used to.  But I still travel and am thrilled to find scenic routes that help me enjoy glorious Nature wherever I travel.

I love Nature.  Autumn especially is such a glorious time of year—the beauty is almost overwhelming! The photos here are from my most recent trip to enjoy the fall colors.

I appreciate that the recent elections are over, so the dreaded political advertising is over for a bit.  I also like the election results. Having the elected representatives more closely matching what seems to be the ideological split in the country seems wise.  Maybe those elected politicians (I cannot call them “leaders” on either side of the aisle) will finally start working together to better the country.  I am hopeful, although not optimistic.

I appreciate all the fire fighters and first responders who come to help, no matter what tragedy they are called to.  And I am so grateful for the charities that come forward to help survivors try to reclaim their lives.  The fires most recently in California are horrible, so small victories are applauded.  One of the three fires is contained and another almost so.  The rains have not caused mudslides.  I feel I must add “yet,” but I am still appreciative today for the good news.

I appreciate that my apartment complex allows residents to have pets.  I get to see and greet dogs as they head out with owners.  Cats are around too.  A couple take afternoon naps on my patio, occasionally noticing me through the sliding glass door and giving me that why-did-you-disturb-me look.  I love it!

I love that colder weather has finally arrived.  I realize that is relative, and if I lived where it snowed and regularly dropped below freezing and stayed there, I might reassess.  But in California, I now get to snuggle under an extra blanket and pull out my sweaters. And it rained a bit yesterday in my area—yeah!

I love the anticipation of Christmas. Not the commercials and sales or even the every-hour-on-the-hour movies about the cheerful Christmas spirit, but the memories that surface of past holidays, the plans for gifts that will be just right for loved ones, the favorite movies and songs that are nostalgic as well as bittersweet at times, and even the traditional sweets and goodies that are served throughout the holidays.  It is a great time to remind others of the joy and wonder of Christmas.

Every day is a miracle.  We need to consciously look for the wonder around us on a daily basis.  Of what are you most appreciative today?

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Quotes about Appreciation & Gratitude

“If you have the opportunity to play this game of life you need to appreciate every moment. A lot of people don’t appreciate the moment until it’s passed.”   Kanye West

“There’s so much to appreciate about my life every single day, and I make a big point of taking time to smell the roses and noticing how lucky I am. I never want to take that for granted.”   Josie Maran

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness—it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”   Brene Brown

“At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.  Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”   Albert Schweitzer

“What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it—would you be likely to give them another?  Life if the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have.”   Ralph Marston

“We don’t need a melting pot in this country, folks. We need a salad bowl. In a salad bowl, you put in different things. You want the vegetables—the lettuce, the cucumbers, the onions, the green peppers—to retain their identity. You appreciate differences.”   Jane Elliot

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”   Melody Beattie

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”   William Arthur Ward

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.  Happiness if the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”   Denis Waitley

“Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t appreciate kindness and compassion.”   Dalai Lama

“Once we discover how to appreciate the timeless values in our daily experiences, we can enjoy the best things in life.”   Jerome K. Jerome

“’Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say.  I say that one a lot.  Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.”   Alice Walker

“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.”   Gilbert K. Chesterton

“Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don’t keep it a secret.”   Mary Kay Ash

“Really appreciate the sunset as you’re driving home, cursing all the terrible drivers on the road.  Be where you are when you’re there rather than out there in the future or back there in the past.”  Valerie Harper

“Let us learn to appreciate there will be times when the trees will be bare, and look forward to the times when we may pick up the fruit.”   Anton Chekhov

“It is through gratitude for the present moment that the spiritual dimension of life opens up.”   Eckhart Tolle

“When a person doesn’t have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity.”  Elie Wisesel

“Nature’s beauty is a gift that cultivates appreciation and gratitude.”   Louie Schwartzberg

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”   Voltaire

“People will never forget how you made them feel.”   Maya Angelou

“To the attentive eye, each moment of the year has its own beauty, and in the same field, it beholds, every hour, a picture which was never seen before, and which shall never be seen again.”   Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere.”   Vincent Van Gogh

“If spring came but once a century instead of once a year, or burst forth with the sound of an earthquake and not in silence, what wonder and expectation would be in all the hearts to behold the miraculous change.”   Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God.  Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.”   Anne Frank

“Give yourself a gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of everything you see around you.  Go outside and turn attention to the many miracles around you.  This five-minute-a-day regimen of appreciation and gratitude will help you to focus your life in awe.”   Wayne Dyer

“Feeling gratitude isn’t born in us—it’s something we are taught, and in turn, we teach our children.”   Joyce Brothers

“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.”   Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The world will never starve for wonder, but only for want of wonder.”   G. K. Chesterson

 

Thankful for Mom & Memories

A little note:  I have not been posting on my blog for quite a few months.  I have been starting entries—book reviews and favorite places, teaching tips and passing thoughts and gratitudes—just not getting them into final form.  But today, I feel the need to share.  And although a silent member lately, my blogging community seemed the place to post my thoughts.  Besides, it is Thanksgiving, and I am thankful for the love, gratitude and ideas shared by my fellow bloggers.  I am also thankful for my mom who taught me to love all of nature.  Her favorite flower–or one of them–was lilacs.

THANKFUL FOR MOM & MEMORIES

It is a bittersweet Thanksgiving, even though the actual events of the day are about the same as the last couple of years.  But this year, I cannot call and talk to my mom.  She died on Saturday, 3 November, ending her pain and suffering from extensive arthritis.  She was ready to go on to Heaven and see her parents and siblings—but we were not ready for her to go.  My dad is doing okay.  For the last year or so, they have lived separately because his medical needs demanded he live in a convalescent hospital while my mom’s needs allowed her to remain in a retirement center.  The two buildings were literally right next to each other, sharing a parking lot.  My sister—thank goodness—brought my dad over for a visit the day before she slipped away.

Two years ago, when they both moved into the retirement center together, the family dinners on Thanksgiving ended.  I would still cook a turkey and would still visit Mom and Dad, but the big dinners no longer took place.  In fact, the several years before the move, I finally convinced Mom that she no longer needed to cook.  We brought the feast in from Marie Callenders—and it was great.  Even lots of good leftovers.  We could still set the table with the good dishes and share together what we appreciated throughout the year.  We did not have all the special foods—the orange cinnamon jello salad, her holiday butter cookies or puppy chow, or handmade mashed potatoes and apple pie—but the food itself was the least important or memorable part of the day.

Today, less than a week since her Memorial Service, I am thinking about what all I am thankful for this Thanksgiving:

• All the years in my mom’s 91 years that we did have Thanksgiving dinner together, even any dinners together.  This past year, once a week I would bring mom dinner, so we could enjoy dinner and a movie in her room.  She could not always follow the movie, but she loved the company.  The night was always reminiscent of nights as a kid and even later as an adult when I would visit on vacation and we would simply watch TV together, eventually taking a break for a bedtime snack.  It was at those quiet times when Mom would finally stop fussing over everyone else and just relax and chit-chat.  I treasure all those evenings—and that she so enjoyed such simple pleasures.
• I also treasure that Mom stayed active and alert mentally up until the end.  Of yes, she might forget what she had for dinner an hour earlier, but she recognized friends and family when they visited. And she enjoyed looking over old photos and telling stories—often the same ones over and over.  Years before when some were fussing at her doctor that she was showing signs of Alzheimer’s, I can remember how she commandeered my doctor’s appointment, so she could make her case that she was still of sound mind.  We had the same doctor as our primary care physician, and she marched in with her proof:  The check book she kept current, never missing a payment and never having an error in her math, which was more impressive knowing she did not use a calculator; the address book that showed all the birthdays she remembered with cards; and her favorite recipes that she was still cooking everyday!  In addition to the blood tests and such that he was exploring, the doctor gave her that memory test where you tell the patient three words and then after a short conversation ask the patient to recall those three words.  Mom got them right—and the doctor and I chuckled a bit when we caught eyes as he needed to check his paper to be 100% sure she was right. I am thankful for Mom’s energy, spunk and ever-alert sensitivities.
• I am also very thankful for Dad.  He is strong and active, walking better than Mom did the last year or so.  I am hopeful that we can occasionally get out to a restaurant for some onion rings or chili or pie, things that are just not the same at the convalescent hospital cafeteria.  He, too, is very alert, recognizing family and friends and joking with the caregivers. He knows Mom is at peace now, but he is still so very sad.  His memory of past events is still very good—and he proudly notes that he fell in love with Mom at first sight across the high school cafeteria.  They married in 1941. A few months ago he underwent surgery and was adamant that his wedding ring not be taken off—he has never taken it off since their wedding ceremony 71 years ago—and he never will until he is gone!  I am thankful for their ongoing love. And that I will be able to visit with him tomorrow.

• As Mom’s Memorial Service was so recent, I am very aware and very thankful for all the love and support that was extended about Mom and towards Dad.  The shared memories help—and the love shared by sister and nephews and aunt and cousins and my parents’ friends and neighbors helped me celebrate Mom’s life rather than just grieve over her loss.  I know she will be alive in my heart forever—and that is something else to be thankful for.
• Of course, there are all the usual things that I value—beautiful nature all around, decent health, good friends, time to spend with family and friends, and a lifetime ahead to build more memories and share more love and gratitude.

Please do me a favor:  As the holiday season unfolds with all its headaches, stress and frustrations over not enough time or money; too little sleep; friends and family who get on your nerves no matter how much you love them; and too much eating and drinking, taka a minute to stop and say “Thank you” and “I love you” to those who matter in your life.  You never know when being able to give one more hug will no longer be a reality.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Giving Thanks

Well, it has been forever since I have posted to my blog.  Well, a little over three weeks.  But it feels like forever.  I wish I could say those three weeks were spent doing something stupendous, but that is not the case.  I slept a lot getting over the infection that caused the need for a root canal—and had several visits to the dentist in there as well.  A legal matter is moving forward so very slowly it seems to be standing still—and that fact frustrates me more some days than others.  But through it all, I did keep my gratitude journal, but not online.  Giving thanks and sharing appreciation needs to be an everyday thing, even though today (Thanksgiving) calls for a bit more thoughtful reflection and gratitude.

Here is my list of some of the things I am thankful for today:

My dentist:  He saw me on short notice and eased the pain!  And he is very gentle when poking around in my mouth, kept the procedures pain free,  answered all my questions about what he was doing and why, and did not ask very many questions when my mouth was full of so much junk that there was no way I could talk.  Other than the terrible shrill whine of the drills, the experience was not bad at all.  And as my mom would say, “It’s good you still have all your teeth for the dentist to work on.”

My general good health:  Two years ago at this time I was preparing for my last surgery, meaning my most recent surgery but also hoping that I don’t need another surgery one anytime soon.  The surgery successfully reversed the need for a colostomy bag.  Geez, am I thankful to not have to live with that anymore!

My parents:  They are both still basically healthy, although they do have aches and pains.  I was not with them today, but celebrated with them on Tuesday.  Their medical needs are different enough that they live in different facilities, but I saw both of them.  Mom and I shared a nice lunch and talked about decorating her room for Christmas.  Dad—although his memory is not the best these days—remembered enough to tease me about calling him when I got home safe from my over two-hour drive home.  Over the years, whether I was traveling 5 minutes or 5 hours, Dad wanted a call and I would typically say, “I would not call.”  It got to be our goodbye habit.  I am thankful we can still share fun silly moments together.

Good friends:  I appreciate the good friends and family members who are always there to offer love and support, not just today but every day.  I feel lucky to have them in my life.  I just wish some of them lived closer so we could literally get together more often.  That we don’t just makes me that much more thankful for the internet.

Good food:  I am thankful for good food—and not just today.  But it is great that today’s turkey and stuffing turned out so well.  You see, I do not often cook full meals.  Even the gravy turned out really well, with no lumps at all!  Now, I need to do all the clean-up and put-away the leftovers.  I am not thrilled with those chores, but am thankful I have such a bounty to contend with.  Maybe I will make some turkey soup in the next couple of days.

Autumn weather and colors:  I am thankful for the cooler weather that has been here for the last several weeks.  Cool nights just make it better for sleeping, and snuggling under soft and cuddly blankets.  And it is conducive to late night reading too.  I stumbled on a little book hiding on my shelf that is proving quite interesting—and I do not even remember how the book got there.  But I enjoying Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress nonetheless.  There have been some great sunsets lately too.  The colorful leaves are still around both here in Bakersfield and near my parents in Arcadia—and many blogging friends have been sharing some great autumn photos!

Holiday Cheer:  I am thankful that another holiday season is on the way, even though the commercialism associated with the season is a bit daunting.  I have already ordered the cookies and candy and sausage that are part of my annual holiday gift-giving.  And I have some books in for the great nieces and nephews I may see over the holidays.  I am very thankful to not have plans to go out shopping tomorrow, or any time soon, sales or not!  I love the music, the movies, the fun of believing in and acting like Santa, and the general good will that comes with the season.  A couple messages—although not exclusive to the holidays—help remind us that the people, the connections are what are important, not all the commotion that goes with the season.

• Four things you can’t recover:  The STONE after the throw. The WORD after it’s said. The OCCASION after it’s missed.  The TIME after it’s gone.
• Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines! Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover!        —Mark Twain

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!  Here’s to the start of what I hope is a terrific holiday season for everyone.  If we all focus on giving thanks and voicing appreciation, it will be a joyful season.

Saying THANKS

Lately I have been reading a book called One Thousand Gifts.  My sister gave it to me, and again she is right:  it is great, provocative, potentially life changing.  It is not fiction; I guess I would label it a memoir or maybe devotional.  Ann Voskamp, the author, shares her journey from overwhelming grief to a life filled with thanksgiving and appreciation, a life—for her—that leads back to God.  What initiates her journey is her journal where she records 1000 items that capture her attention and her thanks.  It does not have to big things like world peace—just the day-to-day details and moments that often go overlooked. 

For example, Ann’s list includes the following items:

• First frost’s crunch
• Kettle whistling for tea on a cold afternoon
• Mama delivering chicken soup to the back door
• Toothless smiles

Her gratitude makes sense to me, in part because I already note the items of nature that capture my eye and heart.  But I never thought about keeping a catalog before of those items as well as of the daily occurrences that are easy to overlook. Her book suggests that slowing down to notice and appreciate these items can help set an attitude of gratitude for life.  It’s the mindset that makes the difference.  Ann starts realizing the power of her journal when a friend questions her about the change that is becoming evident:  “Yes . . . you’ve changed.”  Ann goes quiet, pondering how to respond, since she had not realized the change she was feeling was becoming visible. 

Her thoughts capture her quandary:  “I don’t say it, but I am thinking she may be right and I had felt it for months, the maturing, the swelling, the something different that had begun to happen.  But I had thought the re-creation was still embryonic, a bud of hope. I hadn’t thought it had fully bloomed.  I hadn’t thought that anyone could see the light in the eyes.” Her friend suggests the change is a result of the list she’s been writing.  Slowly, Ann offers her answer, “’Yes . . . “ There. A moment. And yes. ‘It’s The List.’”

Since I had been thinking about writing my own list, this week seemed an especially good time to get started. After all, I had a special experience I could add to the list.  No, I am not listing that I was freshly pressed—although that was terrific!  I had already shared in an earlier posting that the sense of audience inherent in keeping a blog is powerful.  Therefore, getting close to 1400 views in one day, almost more than I had received since I had started my blog months ago, was overwhelming.  But my appreciation is being recorded for the sense of community that became real to me through the feedback provided by others. Some “liked” what I wrote, others left comments, and a handful subscribed. 

It was the camaraderie, the shared experience that stays with me.  To extend the connection, I have visited the blogs of those who stopped by—and was rewarded with wondrous entries that made me laugh and cry, took me to new worlds, or suggested new ideas to ponder.  I collected book titles and recipes and travel destinations. It’s nice being a member of this blogging community—and that is what I am thankful for!

The other items I catalog as I start my list I share with my readers as a way of saying “Thanks!” Thanks for your feedback.  Thanks for making me feel part of this blogging community.  Here’s the start of my list—maybe you will find something here that you appreciate as well:

A sister who loves and supports me, and who I could always count on to play (as kids and adults)!

Being part of a blogging community

Roses in all their variety and splendor

Wind rustling through the trees unexpectedly about 3 am, catching my attention and then lulling me to sleep

The laughter of my neighbor’s kids as they run in from the pool

Snuggling under a blanket on a chilly morning

A cat’s ability to hide in plain sight

Seeing a wolf at Yellowstone, even though it was too far off to capture a picture

The satisfaction of finishing a novel that has kept me up all night

Catching glimpses of birds darting across a field, daring anyone to identify them

Dogs—mine from long ago that I still miss at times and any others I am lucky enough to meet along the way

Bringing a bit of spring indoors

So, THANKS, readers for being part of my blogging community.  What are you grateful for?