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Posts tagged ‘Missing Mom’


“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, even have enough.”   Oprah Winfrey

Easter 1962

I am missing Mom a lot this weekend.  It has been about four and a half years since her death, and some days it feels like just yesterday.  She always enjoyed a good pork roast, so I enjoyed one today in her honor.  I think Mom would have liked that.

As I reflected on my memories with Mom over the years, I realized how grateful I am to have had as much time with her as I did.  She was 91 when she died.  I am especially grateful for her love of life, good sense of humor, and appreciation of animals and gardens–these are attitudes I inherited from her, I’m sure.  I am also grateful that she (and Dad!) were alert and engaged until the end, not in pain or connected to machines.

I am very aware today that there is so very much to appreciate.  Here is a list that names but a few items:

The hummingbirds that are starting to buzz around the feeders hung by my neighbors!

The delightful spring that is underway right now. My favorite little trek to search for spring thus far this year was to the Carrizo Plain.

Some good books are sitting on my kindle, waiting for me to read them, including A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness, House Made of Dawn by N. Scott Momaday, and a delightful collection of stories called Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls.

My apartment complex management are really nice, worthy of appreciation.  They have added a little cement sidewalk outside my apartment door to make it easier for me to maneuver my new little travel scooter in and out.  How cool is that?  They also do not just remind us to change the filters in our AC units, they provide the filters.

I always appreciate a good sense of humor as it helps make every day irritations tolerable.  For example, I know I need to take water pills to help keep my blood pressure from getting too high.  But if I do not laugh at having to jump up like a pop-goes-the-weasel every 30 minutes or so, I would really go crazy.  And that would not be good.

Of course, I appreciate having family and friends who are there for me—and who I have the time to play with fairly often.  My recent trip to Vegas for my sister’s birthday was not even bogged down with bad traffic.  And I was able to use my new little travel scooter, which I will write about eventually. On one day, we took a walk and fed some bunnies!

Holidays are bittersweet now that Mom and Dad are both gone, but good memories overshadow the grief more and more often.  If you are celebrating with your Mom on this holiday, make sure you give her a hug and tell her you love her.  Overlook the silly little things that can often get in the way of just enjoying your loved ones.

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“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love—and then make that day count!”  Steve Maraboli

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing.  It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”  Voltaire

“Love is made up of three unconditional properties in equal measure:  1. Acceptance, 2. Understanding, 3. Appreciation.  Remove any one of the three and the triangle falls apart.  Which, by the way, is something highly inadvisable.  Think about it—do you really want to live in a world of only two dimensions?  So, for the love of a triangle, please keep love whole.”   Vera Nazarian

“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.”   Ralph Waldo Emerson

What do you appreciate on this Mother’s Day?

Mom Sent Pennies from Heaven

mom laughing 91Mom died in November 2012.  She was tired and ready to go, eager to be reunited with her sister and her mother.  I always picture them together in heaven, laughing and having a good time.  This is the first Mother’s Day when I cannot be literally with her to give her a hug and to say, “I love you.” But I have felt her with me a lot this past week.

Sisters, OR 1994

mom & gramma

squirrelFirst, Mom always enjoyed the squirrels in her back yard. This week, a squirrel wandered onto my patio and sort of looked in the sliding glass door.  That does not usually happen in my apartment complex. I have seen an occasional squirrel jumping in the trees, but that’s it.  I do not even have bird seed or nuts out for the wildlife to eat.  I figured it was Mom checking in!

hummingbird on feederThen, Dad was typically the one who filled the hummingbird feeders at their house years ago.  But Mom enjoyed watching them too, often pointing them out through the kitchen window.  Two of my upstairs neighbors hang hummingbird feeders here at my apartment complex.  The birds like it, but they are usually high up their by the balconies.  Saturday, when heading out to go see Dad for our weekly visit, a hummingbird actually buzzed me. It zipped past and then came back and hovered for a second by my face before moving on.  I figured it was Mom telling me to say hello to Dad for her.

SOME PENNIESFinally, I found a penny on the sidewalk the other day, as I came out of a restaurant.  And Saturday evening, I found another one in the parking lot when I got back from seeing Dad.  Of course, I bent down each time to pick them up. Mom always did too.  In fact, she was amazed and almost angered when people would notice them in the street but not stoop to get them because “It was just a penny.”  Growing up through the depression, she knew those pennies added up.  That I saw two this week makes me think it was Mom dropping them for me to find.  Mom loved the following poem, and I think of her whenever I see it. . . or pennies waiting to be found.


me and mom about 1957I am missing Mom, today especially.  But I know she is always with me.  I expect she will be with tonight when I order pizza and watch a movie I know she’d like.  She always enjoyed our weekly movie dates.  Maybe I’ll watch Sister Act or Mama Mia because she liked the songs, or Fools Rush In for the love story!  Maybe Steel Magnolias, although that makes us both cry at times.  Whatever I watch, I expect she will be here with me.  Maybe she’ll even bring Grandma and Aunt Bernice with her.

It should be a good evening.

patti mom corpus 81


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