Learn Something New Every Day!

“I’m so tired.”

I’m tired.  Really tired.  Exhausted.*   Overwhelmed.

It is not just the grief over my dad’s death.  He has been gone now for a bit more than a month.  Mom has been gone for almost a year and a half.  They lived long happy lives, and they were both alert and aware until the end.  They both also went quickly and were ready to move on.  They are now together again.  And my sister and I who shared Power of Attorney for their last two years were able to make sure all their needs were met—they were well taken care of.

What has me down is more emotional or psychological than physical.  And not over Mom and Dad’s deaths, per se. Death is part of life—and most memories are a comfort.  I was named executor in their wills, so I am dealing with paperwork and delays.  We do not even have a death certificate yet!  Still, it should be an easy process to settle the “estate” because they did not really have much:  an annuity, a retirement account, social security which just stops, and a small combined checking/savings account that is actually a joint account with my sister. 

But other sisters are raising questions about secret accounts and demanding forensic analysis for the past 5-6 years—longer than we were even helping our parents with their affairs. Forensic accounting by definition anticipates fraud.  The tone and language used feel like accusations and suspicions, even when they say “we are not accusing you of anything”!  Thus, I’m meeting with a probate lawyer next week to work out what the legal requirements are.  Settling my parents’ papers should not be this hard as Mom and Dad set things up to be as easy as possible on their deaths—they even pre-paid their own funeral costs.  This whole situation is sad and disheartening—especially since all Mom and Dad wanted was a family that at least acted as if they liked and trusted each other. 

Anyway, I am very, very tired.

I hope to get back to writing my more typical posts about Nature and Star Trek and Gratitude soon.  Until then, I am seeking some distractions this weekend via some old movies and television shows.  Last week, I enjoyed Victor Victoria.  Last night when I could not sleep, I re-watched Star Trek’s “Trouble with Tribbles” and Star Trek Deep Space Nine’s “Trials and Tribble-Ations.”  This weekend I plan to watch some Mel Brooks’ movies that will give me some laughs over silly things, like To Be or Not to Be, Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles

I thought of watching these specific films because I love Madeline Kahn’s great rendition of “I’m Tired” in Blazing Saddles.   Just seems so fitting with how I am feeling right now.  Enjoy!

*BTW:  Being tired this weekend has nothing to do with Daylight Saving Time that starts at 2 am on Sunday.  I hate this time change!  And I wrote about it last year.

Comments on: "“I’m so tired.”" (19)

  1. I am so sorry. The time following my own mom’s passing was rough. My siblings and I understood more or less the same set of facts, but I had different ideas about how we should go about selling the house. Specifically, my sibs wanted to sell it pronto to the first bidder at an amount much lower than appraised. I wanted to hold out for a fee closer to that appraised, even if the difference went into a charity account in our mom’s memory rather than our own because our mom had bled to keep that house. Going through the rawness of processing her death in conjunction with the practical headaches–and family dissonance–made for one of the most demanding, exhausting times of my life. I was so glad when it was over, and that even without requests for forensic accounting or similar. I hope you are able to wrap this up quickly. Wishing you fortitude and sending love in the interim.

    • Thanks, Deborah. I appreciate the support to help me get through the interim. Knowing others have gotten through such dissonance somehow makes it easier.

  2. So sorry, Patti – about your parents and the trouble that has caused delays. A lot to handle, especially with the unnecessary tasks arising. I am anticipating sibling resentment and hostility when the time comes for me. I know it will happen, since none of the siblings have ever liked, trusted, or respected each other. You are doing the right thing to plan some time to decompress. Movies are great for distraction and rest. Take care and I hope all is resolved as quickly as possible.

    • Thanks, Karen. The movies helped lighten the feelings so far this weekend! I am hopeful the lawyer can help address the issues quickly–or at least give a realistic time frame on things. My heart goes out to your situation–do what you can in advance to make things as easy as possible.

  3. Char Myers said:

    Sending positive thoughts your way. It seems when family should come together they fall apart. Char

    • Thanks, Char. Your positive thoughts help. The five of us sisters have never been real close in the past decade–well, before that but I did not notice so much–but I did not expect all this. Take care.

  4. Cheryl Tsieprati said:

    Dear Patti: What you’re going through is tiring and draining, both physically and emotionally. You’re dealing with tremendous loss. It has to make things all the more painful when family members put up roadblocks. Of course you’re tired. Watching movies that you love is an excellent idea, especially films that bring you joy and laughter. Laughter is such strong medicine. When I’m feeling “down” or stressed, I often go to a movie theatre and immerse myself in a good film. It always helps. Ismail and I send our love to you and our wishes for comfort and a quick resolution to the difficult issues with which you are dealing.

    • Cheryl, I appreciate the good wishes from you and Ismail. All the love and laughter that can come my way helps! Thanks for stopping by.

  5. So sorry for what you’re having to go through, Patti. Unfortunately, this is such a common theme when parents pass away. Very sad.

  6. Thanks for your reply above, Patti. Just to clarify – my siblings are not friendly to each other, but my kids have a great relationship! I hope you get good news this week on a time frame.

  7. I’m so sorry. I expect you will feel tired for sometime for no reason except your loss. To add stress from family is terrible but so often the case. Instead of offering support and loving arms they question everything. I believe you will overcome these challenges with grace and be stronger for it. I hope you family comes around.

  8. As if dealing with death and and estate isn’t enough! … so be patient with yourself (and meeting with a probate lawyer is the right thing to do). Meanwhile, I’m trying to work myself back into the loop after packing and unpacking, thus I didn’t to drop by to say hello. It’s been some time over 3 weeks since you posted this, so I hope it’s moving better and in the right direction now.

    • Thanks. It has been daunting the last several weeks, but the end is in sight. I have not even been reading very many of the blogs I follow–and that has to stop. You have been posting some beautiful videos–and moving as well. I appreciate you stopping by.

      • I’ve used short scheduled posts with cool vids the past three weeks in an attempt to keep readers engaged … although I avoided replying to comments.

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