Learn Something New Every Day!

My Dad—Raymond F. Ross—died yesterday. 

patti with dad

Totally unexpectedly.  Heart complications in conjunction with congestion that settled in very quickly.  He was fine on Saturday. The doctor put him on decongestant and antibiotics on Sunday when he seemed to be getting a cold.  Monday morning, after breakfast and after eating some chocolate, he said his chest felt tight, but he was gone before the ambulance arrived to take him to the hospital for tests. 

I was not ready.  Am still not ready.

After all, he had bounced back from surgery about a year and a half ago, even though Hospice was warning us to prepare for the worst.  He had recovered from overwhelming grief over the loss of Mom a bit over a year ago, even though he still would retreat into quiet contemplation thinking of her and their time together. 

Dad in Uniform WWIISince Mom’s death, we had fallen into a nice routine of visiting together once a week, usually on Saturdays.  I would bring him a treat—he had such a sweet tooth!  We would share memories together of his time in the service, him and Mom over the years, our photo trips together, whatever came to mind.  At times he would complain he was getting old, and I would remind him, “I’m getting old—you are old!”  He would laugh, and most times remember that he had promised some elementary school teacher that he would live to be 100.  I did not quite believe he would be around that long—he was 93.  But I thought we’d have a few more years together. 

He was alert, aware, active, able to joke with staff and ask about family and friends. He liked to tease others and enjoyed a good laugh.  It was easy to make him happy.

Leaving the Church 1941

Mom & Dad Valentine's Day 2000


I was not ready for the call Monday morning that said he had died, the call that turned last Saturday into our last Saturday together. 

I am comforted a bit when I look back and see that our last day together was filled with some last acts that we shared—and that I can always remember:

  • One last round of teasing with the staff about him giving them a hard time.
  • One last chocolate before I left, as well as a couple on his pillow for after dinner.
  • One last hug and kiss goodbye
  • One last exchange of “I love you’s”
  • One last time for him to say, “Be careful!”

Those last moments together along with all the other past memories will have to last me a life time.  I miss you Dad.  Give Mom a hug and kiss for me.  I’m sure there is chocolate in heaven, but I will still think of you every time I enjoy a Hershey’s Kiss or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.  I love you!

Dad smiling in blue

Comments on: "The Last Saturday: Mourning My Dad" (35)

  1. Oh Patti, what beautiful thoughts of the wonderful relationship you shared with your father. You touch my heart and I feel your grief and pray for your healing. He was quite a guy and he will be missed by so many of us.

  2. Unexpected is never easy, then again, neither is expected. Although I imagine tears flowed while writing this post, I still felt a sense of calm … so may that sense of peace stay with you in the days ahead, and may those joyous memories warm your heart.

  3. Patti, I am so sorry. Who can read this and not feel the sweetness of remembering every detail? Chocolates on his pillow. May you know that prayers will go out to him, your mother already in heaven and you in the next days. Such a lovely photo of him and you at the top of your tribute.

    • Thanks so much. Your care and prayers really help. I do have good memories! That photo is from Mom’s Memorial Service–so seemed appropriate. They are together again.

  4. I’m so sorry for your loss. That post was a lovely tribute to your dad.

  5. So sorry for your loss, Patti. Your post is a moving tribute to your dad.

  6. Char Myers said:

    I’m so sorry to hear of your Dad’s passing. Your tribute comes straight from your warm and loving heart.

  7. I’m so sorry. I cried for you. You’ll be in my prayers.

  8. Oh, Patti, I’m so very sorry. Wgat a terrible shock and huge loss. I’m so glad your last Saturday together was a happy one. Sending you hugs & love.

  9. Oh Patti, I am so sorry for your loss. I know your Dad and Mom will still be with you watching over you. You have such beautiful memories.

  10. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family Patti. How blessed you were to have such a gentleman in your life. Rest in peace, Mr. Raymond F. Ross.

    • Thanks. I do feel blessed. I got my love of nature photography from him. He would love to have visited your part of the world and captured those great nature shots himself.

  11. Deborah the Closet Monster said:

    I’m glad for these sweet memories taking away some of the edge of this loss. Sending love and condolences.

  12. So sorry to learn of the loss of your father, Patti. This is such a beautiful and loving tribute to him. The pictures of your dad and mom are very special. I hope the cherished memories you have of him, and of your mother, will comfort you through this difficult time. I know they will bring you joy throughout the rest of your life. Ismail and I send our love and condolences.

  13. So sorry to hear of your father’s passing. What a lovely tribute, and I’m glad you were able to spend a special last day with him. As your friends above said so well, those wonderful memories will last forever.

  14. Just goes to show you–live each moment as if it were your last. So glad you had “Saturday” and that you can find comfort in your knowledge of a future reunion! Thanks for sharing with us all. Gail

    • Yes! I am so pleased that we had a good last visit, said how we felt. His quick death is a good reminder–as you say–to live every moment fully! Thanks for stopping by.

  15. Sherry D'Attile said:

    What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man, Patti. I am so very, very sorry to hear this sad news. You are such a loving, caring daughter, sister, and friend. I’ll be keeping you close in prayer. I love you,
    Sherry (and John, too)–we send you lots of hugs and kisses.

    Please tell Barbara she is in our prayers, too.

  16. You had such good relationships with your mother and father. That’s a great gift. I’m sorry about your dad’s passing. Your love and respect for your father shine through this post.

  17. […] do feel lucky that I saw Dad a few days before he died.  It was a typical visit, and we parted saying, “I love you” and sharing a hug and a kiss.  Thank goodness!  Please […]

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